Sunday Bloody Sunday
by Bohemian Storm
Summary: Remus Lupin reflects on the aftermath of the final war against Voldemort.


Disclaimer: The lyrics belong to U2, the characters belong to J.K. Rowling.  
Notes: I wrote this ages ago, but never got around to posting it. I completely forgot about it. Bad me. :D  
  
Sunday Bloody Sunday  
  
  
I never imagined that this would be what it would all come down to. Never in all my life did I ever picture that Voldemort would strike on a quiet Sunday afternoon in Hogsmeade. It's warm . . . a beautiful day, really. Early autumn, scarlet leaves mingling with the blood of the dead and falling upon their cold faces. How I wish that I could do something for them, but I can't. Their lives were never in my hands and, although the results are horrible to look at, I've never been so convinced that my decision to stay away from the battle was the wisest I could have made. I could never deal with the guilt on their lives . . . I would have died myself.   
  
  
//I can't believe the news today  
I can't close my eyes and make it go away\\  
  
  
This is how it ends, with the sun setting at the end of the day. This is how Harry finally defeated Voldemort forever. Am I surprised? Of course not, but my heart breaks to see the boy on his knees, sobbing into the kinky brown hair of Hermione Granger. He doesn't deserve to have her life on his shoulders, he's still just a child. No one deserves to think they're responsible for another's death.   
  
That is the reason that I shunned the battle, that I told Dumbledore I would never be involved with the fight. Selfish . . . perhaps, but it keeps me safe. It keeps my soul untarnished and alive. It's the decision that keeps me alive. Obviously my stance of noninvolvement isn't for everyone, but for a lone wolf, as I so literally am, it was the best choice. It was the only choice, really. I don't believe in war.  
  
I see so many that I thought I once knew, so many men and women changed by the effects of this war. I don't care if he's dead, Voldemort will be with all of us forever. He's destroyed the hearts of so many, while the bodies of their friends litter the streets. The living are just as battered as the dead, both physically and mentally. At least the dead can rest now that they're gone, the living will have to live with their guilt until they're allowed to join their lost loves.  
  
  
//Tonight we can be as one, tonight\\  
  
  
I walk on through the dirty streets, bit of stone and plaster creating a cloud of dust around my feet. The sun casts long lines of red through the sky, shattering the crystal blue afternoon and making the sky look just as disjointed as the ground below. It all seems to be one picture, the quiet village destroyed by a completed battle. I hate to look at it, but I can't look away. This is what I ran away from and though I hate myself for being a selfish coward, I can't help but feel glad that I didn't have to point my wand at someone I once knew and bellow the killing curse.  
  
Severus Snape is on his knees, his hands pressing vainly at the chest of Lucius Malfoy. Though they kept up the charade of enemies, especially with Severus's defection back to Dumbledore, Lucius and Severus had always been best friends. Now, as the light fades from the sky and one can see the sun glinting off Lucius's unseeing eyes, Severus's fingers scrabble at his friend's throat. He has killed him and now he will have to live with the guilt forever. I shake my head sadly, I don't know how much more guilt can weigh down on Severus before he drowns in it. He looks so much more alive than he normally does, such a bitter contrast to Lucius's lifeless body.   
  
I walk on, blood staining my shoes and leaves crunching under them.  
  
  
//Broken bottles under children's feet  
Bodies strewn across a dead end street  
But I won't heed the battle call  
It puts my back up, puts my back up against the wall \\  
  
  
Minerva McGonagall is standing alone on the sidewalk, her eyes closed and her head hung low. She looks as though she lost all she ever held dear in the battle and from what I can see, that could be quite possible. I can't see many survivors standing, just so many people crying and fallen. So many bodies left to rot in the streets with no one to mourn them. They're just children . . . just children. They had so much ahead of them.   
  
Minerva motions me toward her, but my feet turn me away. I don't want to see the crumpled body lying at her feet, my eyes don't need to take in another broken soul.  
  
Whatever my path was, it ends here in the middle of the war ravaged street. The sun dips lower, oranges and reds shooting through the coloured leaves and casting a glow over the street. Everything shimmers in the late afternoon glow, everything is painted in red. Dripping red, glowing red, all of it is stained red and they'll never be able to wash the stains away.   
  
  
//Sunday, bloody Sunday  
Sunday, bloody Sunday \\  
  
  
My friends are here, their lives torn apart. Albus Dumbledore looks lost and confused, as if he lost the meaning of his life when Voldemort died. Harry is still crying into the hair of his lost friend, Ron Weasley is bent over the body of his sister, trying desperately to bring her back. Severus's hands still clutch at Lucius's throat, though with less violence than before. Draco Malfoy is bent on the other side of his father, tears clinging to his pale cheeks. They're all here . . . every one of them found it within themselves to fight and I abandoned them all.   
  
Minerva, Severus, Albus, all the professors who fought so bravely and were willing to give their lives. My best friends did the same, Lily and James offered their lives to protect their son seventeen years ago and this time Sirius Black stood by his side. Harry has never stood alone, even if I wasn't there for him. I just hate that it had to come down to this final battle. He deserves so much more than this death.  
  
  
//And the battle's just begun,  
There's many lost, but tell me who has won?  
Trenches dug within our hearts,  
And mothers, children, brothers, sisters torn apart\\  
  
  
I'm sorry that I couldn't stand by them during this time, so very sorry that I couldn't offer my knowledge to them, but this wasn't my battle. I would have died on this street, along with so many others. I would have been in the way, I just would have been underfoot. I see all the brave souls who risked their lives to protect the world and I can't help but feel ashamed. I just don't believe in it . . . I don't believe in the prospect of war.  
  
Look at what it brought us. Too many dead children, too many lost professors and Aurors, too much blood staining the pavement beneath my feet.   
  
  
//Sunday, bloody Sunday  
Sunday, bloody Sunday //  
  
  
And I, Remus Lupin, was too afraid to fight with them, shoulder to shoulder, against the darkest power this world has seen. I hid myself away and remembered the vow I once made to James, the one thing I promised him before he and Lily died.  
  
"Don't let Harry be alone," he had said one day only weeks before his death. "If something should happen to myself or to Lily you and Sirius need to take care of him. Don't let him be alone."  
  
So I refused to believe in war. I refused to let myself die in a war and leave that boy alone. I love him and I love Sirius, but they have both offered themselves to death and I had to know that someone would be here if Harry were to come out alive.  
  
He has and I am still here, walking this dirty, bloody street on a peaceful Sunday evening.  
  
  
End  
  
More Notes: No, I don't think Lupin is a coward. I just liked the prospect of him being against war, since no one in the books seems to think twice about it. :D 


End file.
